The Healing Process
by LadyJasmineLJ
Summary: Regina Mills lost her whole world four years ago. Emma Swan is a business owner who knew Regina 18 years ago with a dark past. Emma does everything she can to get back into Regina's life. Although it's rocky at first, they learn how to love each other once again. Just when things are finally good again for both women, Emma's past comes back around to destroy everything.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, everyone! This is my first story that I'm uploading, and I'm just looking for some feedback. This storyline has been swirling around in my head for a while. If there's positive feedback, I'll continue this story. If there, by some miracle, is a few followers, I hope we have a great journey together.**

 **\- Lady Jasmine**

 **P.S. The flashbacks are going to be italics.**

* * *

In the windy city of Chicago, a beautiful woman, Regina Mills, is nursing a scotch on the rocks. There's only a few people inside of Patrick's Pub, most people are still working. Regina knows she probably should be too, she's even in her work attire, but today she couldn't bring herself to stay the full day in her dreary, lonely office. Today, of all days has been particularly hard for the past several years. The clock on the wall in front of Regina claims that it's September 20th, 4:30 p.m.

To the public eye, it seems as if Regina hadn't slept all night. Her silk button up shirt is untucked and there's dark circles under her deep brown eyes that not even make up could simply cover up. Her overall appearance, uncharacteristically, screams disheveled.

Around Regina's neck is a silver chain with a black wedding band with a sapphire diamond in the middle. She's fiddling with the ring as she senses her favorite bartender, Joe, step in front of her. Without needing to ask he refills Regina's tumbler, but instead of walking away and leaving her to her own accord like usual, he leans on the bar.

"Want to talk about it Ms. Mills?" He offers with a sincere half smile. Regina likes the guy, she really does, but he obviously can't pick up vibes very well. She just wanted to be left alone today.

"Talk about what, Joe," she plays dumb. "Is there another girl you insist on introducing me to?" Joe isn't going to back down this time so he ignores the jab. It's true he's tried to set her up with the occasional pretty girl that's stepped into the bar, and every time it's failed terribly; He seems genuinely curious and slightly worried about her today.

"Well, I know this bar is the one you prefer to come to," he starts off with a smug smirk. "But it's not very often you do come here, there's no pattern. Except, for the last 4 years you come in, order this exact same drink, on the exact same day, at the exact same time. So, again, do you want to talk about it?" Regina wishes she had more patience, but she doesn't. Not today. She gulps down the remainder of the scotch in her glass and proceeds to stick a cigarette in her mouth, it's hanging between her red lips.

"I lost my wife and my son on this same day, 12 hours apart from each other. It's now been, can you guess?" Regina's words come out with some bite to them, but she can't bring herself to care much. "Yep, you got it, four years since I lost my life. So, thanks, but no thanks, Joe." She lights her cigarette with a long, hungry inhale. "My wife owned this bar before your father bought it, I painted these walls. That's why I come here, not because of your mediocre service." With that she slaps down a $50 bill and walks out of the bar with her head held up high, defiantly. She absolutely hates being made into some poor soul that needs saving and therapy. She's most definitely had her fair share of the pitying eyes. As she starts to walk she tugs on her coat to block the strong winds whipping around her, remembering.

* * *

 _Regina, Danielle, and Charlotte were singing at the top of their lungs, being silly with each other. It was a nice change from the painful intensity that was going on as of late. Regina was still trying to deal with the fact that she'd been discharged from the military because of her damn leg, and attempting to deal with the fact that her leg was gone and in place was a prosthetic that she found herself hating because of everything it stood for. Danielle was dealing with caring for Regina and Charlotte and all that it had entailed. It had been a hard few months, to say the least. The family situation was finally improving, so the couple decided to take a family vacation to the cabin they had in their old hometown of Storybrooke, Maine. They were planning to spend Christmas there, just them, no one else._

" _Watch the road, love," Danielle ordered as she swatted away Regina's hand on her cheek, which she knew Regina was wanting a kiss. "I don't want us to drive onto the ice."_

" _I am, dear, but I want a quick kiss," Regina flashed her a loving glance with her lip jutted out slightly. Before anything else could be said, the car hit black ice and started to spin uncontrollably. Regina saw it coming, she couldn't do anything and that fact would haunt her for a long time. The car wrapped around a tree on the passenger side. Regina's wife and 4 year old daughter died later that night. Regina would later find out that the prosthetic leg saved Regina from being pinned down and bleeding out. The object she held hatred for saved her from death while her whole world crashed and burned in front of her._

* * *

Regina waltzes into the familiar flower shop and picked up a bouquet of beautiful blue flowers that were already waiting for her. After paying the understanding old woman that ran the shop, she continued walking into the place she visited at least once a week, Hamilton Cemetery. At the back of the cemetery, she came to a stop at plot with an intricate headstone displaying the words: "Charlotte Mills, 2000-2004; 'The Little Light of the World'." Regina plopped down in front of the marked grave, not caring about dirtying her nice pants. She picked out one of the flowers of the bouquet meant for her wife and placed it into built-in vase. "Hi, babygirl," Regina greets as she strokes the side of the headstone lovingly. Tears begin to form in her brown orbs already. "I miss you so much, I would do anything to bring you back, and I'm so sorry, I –" Regina cuts herself off and hangs her head as a crushing heartbreak and fresh wave of guilt washes over her just like every time she thinks about her young, innocent, beautiful daughter. Gathering all the strength she possibly could, she beings to speak to her daughter again.

"Did you know, Char, that Mommy got arrested for trying to steal a horse in effort to save it from an abusive owner," Regina begins, pointing and looking at her wife's headstone right beside Charlotte's. "I was so upset for being woken up to be told my wife was in a holding cell…" Regina always told stories to Charlotte when she visited her. That day, Regina stayed for hours just sitting and talking with her daughter and wife.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hopefully, those of you who are reading are enjoying this. Sorry about the delay, work and school like to just suck up all your extra time. Have a good day, y'all.**

 **\- Lady Jasmine**

Regina spends a while just speaking to her wife, Danielle, missing her deeply. She's speaking to her beloved about the newest kid at the office, she hopes he gets the hang of the fast-paced environment so she doesn't have to fire him. She hates firing people. She's so engrossed in catching her wife up on her life that she's unaware of a pair of eyes glued to the back of her head.

"Regina?" A voice calls out. Regina shoots straight up back on her feet, back straight, and pulls her coat closed so the person newly in attendance of the moment wouldn't see her wrinkled clothes. After a moment, she recognizes the newcomer's voice and she most definitely remembers that golden hair.

"Emma," Regina says in a strained greeting. Wow, she could never forget Emma, even after 18 years of not seeing each other and 16 years of no contact whatsoever. Emma was her first love, she used to be everything all wrapped into one perfect, beautiful bundle just for Regina. That is, until Emma left without a word of warning and a couple years later just stopped all contact. Emma still looked stunning, more mature. She aged well. Emma wore skin tight jeans paired with knee high boots, a fitted white button up shirt along with a large black coat, and a gray wool beanie.

Dread, and more surprisingly – but maybe not so much of a surprise? – joy churned over in a confusing mix in the pit of Regina's stomach. She had always had a pull towards Emma, but she was her first love, so of course she felt a pull. Doesn't everybody feel that towards their first loves? A part of her wanted to hug Emma and hold on for a while and ask questions upon questions about the last 18 years; the other part of Regina wasn't so friendly, it wanted to slap Emma in her cheek that's already red from the prickly cold and maybe politely suggest she go fuck herself.

"I – um, who are you visiting," she stumbles over her own tongue, obviously wanting to say something completely different. _Still awkward as ever,_ Regina thinks with an eye roll of annoyance. _Where does she get the nerve? Disappearing out of the blue, then eighteen years later wants to know something so personal?_

"That's a tad personal, don't you think? Now if you don't need anything," Regina grinds out through clenched teeth. She turns back around stepping back to her daughter's grave, hoping Emma takes the hint for once in her life and leaves her the hell alone. But, of course, Emma being Emma, she doesn't.

"I'm here visiting David," Emma announces bluntly. What was this personal exchange for personal exchange? Regina was about to retort with nasty words and attitude, but quickly decided against it. She remembered Emma's father, David vividly. Emma definitely was his kid, looks wise at least. Right about now, Regina was thinking that David was definitely a far better person than Emma was. He had been a great father to Emma, which was particularly rare in her own life; she remembers confiding in him, laughing with him, crying with him. David had been more of a parent to Regina than her own ever had been. It had been just short of a tragedy when he and Emma's mother, Ingrid got a divorce and David moved here to Chicago, away from their hometown – what are the odds of everyone ending up in this damn city? She remembers Emma taking it rather hard. That point in time was Emma's rebellious stage; it had been a long stage, for sure.

"I was a heart attack," Emma continues when she sees Regina's head turned ever so slightly to the side, clearly listening to her. Emma's hoping to get Regina to, at the very least, face her. She needs to tell Regina why she left. She can't leave it like this, not again. "I talked to him just hours before it happened and then he was just… gone. I know you called one another before you just stopped answering the phone. I know he was important to you, just like you were important to him. He loved you. He gave me absolute hell when I left."

"Good," was the simple response that escaped Regina's lips before she could stop it. "You deserved it." Regina stares straight ahead at her daughter's headstone with her fists clenched in front of her. She needed to get out of here. With everything she has left in her, Regina begins to walk seemingly confidently away towards the entrance trying not to limp with the prosthetic. She isn't able to get very far though.

"You had a daughter?" Emma whispers in empathetic pain as she stares at the grave that Regina had been standing in front of. She can't even begin to imagine the loss of a child; if she lost her own son, she's positive she wouldn't be able to go on. Regina had always been strong, but this was a completely different level of strength. All Emma wants to do now is hug Regina until her pain absorbs into her own skin.

Against Regina's better judgement, she spins on her heels and just about leaps right in front of Emma in anger, ignoring the pain in her leg. They were so close to each other that their noses were touching, but this wasn't a moment of deeply imbedded sensual anger, no, this was just pure fury on Regina's part. Her eyes flashed dangerously and her lips turned into a disgusted snarl meant only for the blonde in front of her. Emma only wonders why Regina's face contorts in masked pain.

"You lost the right to know anything about me. Don't fucking dare speak about my daughter, you don't deserve to. She was too good for you. You left, you abandoned me, you don't know one thing about me anymore," Regina says this in such an angry, dominating low voice. Emma gulps audibly and is momentarily at a loss of what to do. She needs Regina to hear her side, to just give her a chance.

"You're right. You're right," Emma knows this is her last chance at getting through to the gorgeous brunette. "I left you behind that day. I have a reason though. I have an explanation. I don't deserve it, but I want to tell you my story. Please, Reggi, hear me out? There's a little café just down the street, let me buy you a cup of coffee," Emma pleads with her, hoping Regina's old nickname will soften her up a bit. It had before, but there was no telling now. Emma knew Regina deserved more than she could ever give, in the past and now, but she at least had to tell her it wasn't her fault. It wasn't because she didn't love her. It had all been for her. Emma needed her to know.

Emma thanked every god she could think of when she saw Regina sigh and run her hand through her hair in thought. She knew what was coming next, "Alright, Emma. You have one hour, and this reason of yours better be the best goddamn reason in existence. If you waste my time, you'll never regret anything more than this."


End file.
